Today, inspired by http://fatshionelle.wordpress.com/ (blog by my new friend Natalie Slaughter) and also by http://www.xojane.com, I am deciding that I will never again try to be thin.
Ipstenu adores my body BECAUSE of all the things about it, not IN SPITE of the things about it. I’ve realized that I love it, too. Know why? Because my body has been with me for as long as there’s been a Me to be with. It’s stuck by me. It’s given me enjoyment and pleasure, it’s helped me to enforce the decisions my heart and mind make, and it’s strong.
Last week, I found the budget for gym membership, and today I get to go there and finalize the membership and indulge in my first proper workout since leaving Chicago.
“Now, wait,” I hear you saying in honest perplexment. (Perplexion. Perplexitude. Purple. Something like that.) “Now, wait. Wait just a dang minute. You’re going to the gym? But you just said you don’t care about being thin!”
But you see, I do care about my body. Remember? I just told you I loved it. But because I love my body, I want it to be strong, and flexible, and have stamina. Well, more of those things, which I already have to some extent. (An extent that may not seem fair to those of you who’ve been working out all your lives and staying thin all your lives, just to get to be as strong and flexible as I am. Don’t hate me because I’m naturally gifted. Really, you’re doing well, and I’m proud of you.)
Yes, I want to work out. A lot! I love working out, feeling strong and awesome, sweating and breathless from pushing myself. Because although I love my body, I’m not satisfied with it. I don’t mean I don’t like the way it looks. I mean that I believe that I have room to grow. That’s right, I said grow, not shrink! I can be tougher. Faster. Stronger. More flexible. Right now, I’m strong for an average person. But I think I can be strong for an athlete, too. Look at the beautiful and amazing Sarah Robles — if she can do such amazing things with her beautiful body, maybe I can, too. I’ll know, when I try.
My body is great. It has substance. Comforting bulk. Ask anyone who’s had the privilege of hugging me: It is wonderful to hold me, a sybaritic and hedonistic pleasure, precisely because of my size and shape. I am the shape considered divine — literally — by many cultures, both now and throughout history. I am an inspiration for artists — I, myself, was once an art model, but also other women of my size and shape have been immortalized in paints, marble, and bronze. I am generosity, I am voluptuousness, I am abundance, I am life.
I will never again insult this beautiful, steadfast body of mine, nor try to change its shape to please anyone, nor change its size on purpose (my size may change as a result of my current-and-increasing exercise regimen, but that is not my goal, only a side result). What I want isn’t a new body, but rather, to do more things — more efficiently, more often, and for longer at a stretch — with this body. This gorgeous, yummy body.
And if you can’t get down with that, then you probably hate your body, and I hope that you will learn to love it as I love mine, so that you will have enough confidence to just exist in your own beauty rather than trying to convince others that they don’t have their beauty. I wish the best for you, even and especially if you are feeling like flaming me right now. Love yourself.
My name is MrsIpstenu, and I am adorably round.